Privacy... Respect... Safety

Grade 3. We had some new kids in our class and one little boy was really cute and really smart. Our teacher liked to do spelling bees and math bees to quiz us on our multiplication tables. At last I had real competition and I loved the fact that he pushed me and gave me a challenge.

Do you remember that song made famous by George Strait? Check Yes Or No

"Do you love me, do you wanna be my friend?
And if you do
Well then don't be afraid to take me by the hand
If you want to
I think this is how love goes, check yes or no"

I always find myself thinking of third grade because I did something like that at the urging of a friend - except that I didn't sign my name. And after putting the note in his desk during recess I was terrified he would find out that it was me who had put it there. And he did learn that it was me - after that friend who had urged me to do it told him that it was from me.

Incredible how a tiny moment can imprint itself forever in memory and all the emotions of mortified embarassment come flooding back a lifetime later. I have spent my adult life thinking about privacy. I have been keeping people's secrets for as long as I can remember, and when I learned of HIPAA law I felt deep appreciation for those who created it.

I made a connection yesterday that was new for me. Privacy is tightly tied to respect, and both are tightly tied to feeling safe.

Respect means that I will be spared ridicule and treated with kindness, compassion and understanding. I will be seen and heard, and I will feel validated. And this respect allows me to feel a deep sense of safety.

Sadly most of us do not feel that we will be respected if the whole truth about us were known and so we seek privacy instead.

I wish for the world that we humans could learn to treat each other with respect. I believe that it would go a very long way towards healing each other and the world.

When it comes to training our animals I believe that respect must be kept at the center of our relationships too.

I have seen people take treats and food away from their dogs to make sure that their dog "knows who's the boss"! I will never support such disrespectful displays of arrogance.

My dogs all eat together without drama. I would like to think that is because they know that I am doing my utmost to make sure that they each have their needs met. If I need to take something away from them it is usually for their safety, and then I will give them something that is safe for them to have instead.

Our animals do not demand privacy, but there is no doubt in my mind that feeling respected gives them a sense of safety with us.

Curiosity and kindness in farming.

Caring for our community, animals and environment.

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Elkton, Oregon